This is what a rower’s hands looks like. I could probably grate cheese of them.
And no, they’re not as painful as they look. Eating crisps is a big no though especially salt and vinegar.
Aren’t I attractive?
Sport
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’sup
Vote No
…to the gunshow baby. YEAH!
(Me second from the left)
Enlarge for full Cock Grabbing actio
“Powering up” is almost undetectable to the untrained eye.
The 2008 olympics has come under scrutiny again today as yet another major “Power-up” ring exploded into public view today. A truck carrying the lucratively obscure cargo spilled its contents when it veered to avoid an oncoming antrpomorphic aligator.
Innocent onlookers, caught in the crossfire grew to twice their size, gained super-speed and turned a variety of colours. Alan Barkley(26), from Dudley in Birmingham, “sprouted a racoon tail” that allowed him to fly for “no apparent reason”.
The shipment is said to have contained more than two million dollars worth of “power-ups” believed to be intended for high ranking olympic athlethes.
Not since a discus thrower from North-Korea went “super-saiyan” in 1996 has the Olympics seen such an uproar.
Today saw a new name being added to the list of banned sports around the world , as the WHO and international sporting bodies voted unanimously to reclassify badminton as a bloodsport. The decision has sparked uproar among the legions of players and followers who have threatened major disruption at the upcoming Olympic games in Beijing, China.
The move comes only hours following Eoin’s second sprained ankle. His ordeal began with a deep lung to intercept a forehand drive. His crosscourt return was tragically mistimed and a moment later he crashed to the ground, roaring in agony, clutching his now burning penis. Onlookers froze in horror and many were seen to break down in tears. Moments later, he went to the floor a second time after a well placed smash saw him dive valiantly across the rubber to dig the shuttle out from an hopeless situation, tearing open his knee in the process. It was third time lucky however, at only 3 hours and 40 minutes into todays matches, saw the right ankle buckle under the stress of a lunge to the rearcourt. In an official statement earlier today, the shuttler was heard to remark;
” FUCK MY ANKLE!!”
obviously this refers to his tournament later this week in Austria, the fate of which now looks uncertain. When questioned , his spokesperson just replied
” Fuck. Next question? ”
Regardless, the fate of this sport hangs in the balance although some pundits believe the time is now ripe for the long discussed introduction of blunt weapons and small blades into badminton.
Your Friendly neighborhood sports correspondent, Stringjob.
1. Listen to this.
2. Understand that if you want something, you need to tear yourself to pieces to get it.
3. Go out and claw yourself one step closer to success.
I’ve been asked this before and now I’ve been asked it again.
Yesterday my crew and I rowed 35 kilometers plus or minus a few k. Today I was up at six a.m. to join the crew for training. I was told about a documentry and this reflects best why I do what I do for those that don’t understand sport or tell me to take it easy. It is sixty minutes long but it’s pure gold.
