The Journal of Integrity

Im a little bit worried about the amount of videogame content on the JOI at the moment, so this is the last thing ill mention for a year. Diablo 3 was announced. I have been subconciously waiting for nearly 10 years and didnt realised it until i read the announcment today and the little boy inside me (kinky) sqealed with delight. My childhood cocaine is returning. I blew so many hours on the previous games, i.. i just cant finish the post . MY sweaty 12 year old palms are shaking to much. Im going to the gym. Reaffirming my non digitalised life.

When purchasing a laptop for my mom, i was subjected to Dells stringent anti-terrorist screening program.

Cibo Matto – ‘Sugar Water’.

“JOI-Cian’s Revenge” has been a long time coming, with fans of the series waiting ten years while the dev team procrastinated and worried about what to call the game and indeed, what to put in it. As the release date drew near , Boland Software paniced and pulled 4 all nighters in a row and handed it in to the publishers late, by slipping it under the door and pulling a runner.

The story begins in China as the Joi team become stranded in China after mysteriously missing their flight. The “plot” thickens as they discover a plot, and decide to right this wrong as only the JOI know how.

Choosing one of the four main characters (Asim rumoured to be unlockable) brings a unique game play experience and ensures that players might consider finishing the game to enjoy the possible replay value.

For example, choosing Anthony grants the player strength and endurance slightly above the average man, and allows you to pick up and throw moderatly heavy objects such as boxs, some fruit and children under 5. Also, he can now bench press enemies and perform CSIII on various (four) computer terminals you encounter. The downside to these powers, is he must eat every 20 minutes or become cranky , and relys heavily (read: entirely) on Cian for transport.

Choosing Cian is recommended only for advanced gamers, as Cian attempts a thought provoking point and click adventure, but with only 2 options on each object:

“hmmmmm”
“wait a while and see”

Colours also tend to be distorted and the red/green guessing game adds a new flavour to an old genre.

Shane’s “jump up ,block out the sun and punch in the forehead” punch and Eoin’s
“Average height ” power add a welcome change to the standard First person shooter gamplay , now that there are no weapons in the game.

Overall the level design is good, most levels beginning and then finishing after a middle section, although some begin before the beginning to keep us guessing.

Multi-player is classic a classic JOI with squabbling, wit, abusing cian and “your mom” jokes, the winner of each round earning a night with Cian’s mom.

Overall, this may well be the game to help the failing Mega Drive in the face of mounting pressure from ps3, xbox360 and reading.

Score= 4/5.

I passed my exams! It only took 3 attempts and 2 years but I’m finally CSIII lol!

With the release of the new Hulk film I’ve seen alot of videos and blogs compare Ang Lee’s “Hulk” with “The Incredible Hulk”. The general concensus is, of course, that there is no comparison. One is a super-hero action film and the other is a massive two and half hour long art house wank-fest.

The obvious aside, I think that the Hulk’s first onscreen appearence deserves a mention.

Terrifying….

“The ever loving Hulk!”?

A terrifying struggle engulfs our fair city, a battle of monstrous proportions!

In the blue corner, standing at just over 4 stories tall, its Culture-tron! This young challenger is a result of a devestating culture explosion located near Cork Opera House. Fan’s of Culture-tron will be hoping to see his signature moves “Spiegeltent!‘, the “Marquee” and the all new “Robodoc“, a move learned from his mighty Amsterdam counterpart.

In the very very red corner, standing at 6 stories tall and Cork’s reigning champion is Xenophobosaur! A hulking mass of glorious claustrophobia, this creature is a composite realisation of the of the collective rejection to believe that anything actually exists outside of Cork City. Fans of the champ, and lord knows they are many, are dying to see him perform the “Redfm“, the “EveningEcho” and the more recent “leap into the air, block out the sun and vote No to Lisbon“.

Thrill to their exploits!